We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize