dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
