I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
