I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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