Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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