Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
