matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Randomize
