Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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