You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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