I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
