i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
