i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
