By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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