the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
