i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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