is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
