I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
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How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
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She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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