no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
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