I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
