on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize