Dual....:-)
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Your dad touched me again.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
