I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
