They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
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Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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