I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
