She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
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