Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
