You're my little dorito
Umm I'm too high to move.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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