What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
