this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize