Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
