now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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