Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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