remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
