Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Randomize
