We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ttyl tear gas
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Randomize