when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Randomize
