i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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