Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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