I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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