so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
