I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
How naked do you want me to be?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
