the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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