We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
dude. I can hear the air.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
