i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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