just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
