dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
