but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
