Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize