i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
