I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
