You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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