i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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