I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Just cropdusted the office
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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