I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
