do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
