i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Are we still banned from the library?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
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