I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
