Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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