As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
