it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
