either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
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