I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
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