Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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