I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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